Tag Archives: beer

I Want A Trained Drinking Monkey

Oh where oh where can I order one of these?

I don’t care so much about the pickpocket option, but I would be interested in one that doesn’t fling its own poo. Or anyone else’s poo for that matter. No poo flinging in general, just to be clear.

Oh, and non-smoking of course.

Via: Sober in a Nightclub

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Where’s The Wine?

I see the perfect spot on that empty shelf for my favorite bottle of vino.

I still have trouble fathoming that in the state of Tennessee it is illegal to sell a bottle of wine in a grocery store.

How big a travesty is that?

I see it as a one-stop shopping opportunity. You know the old line “A jug of wine, a loaf of bread and thou” from the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam as translated by Edward FitzGerald.

Tennessee has some of the most stringent legislation about checking IDs for alcohol purchases in the nation, so how could it be any more tough on the grocery clerk to ask for a driver’s license from someone trying to purchase a bottle of merlot than for a keg of Natural Light?

And yes, it is legal to sell and purchase not just six packs and cases but KEGS of beer at a grocery. I’m sure anyone buying a keg of such a quality beer isn’t about to abuse themselves by imbibing in too much.

So on this day dedicated to blogging about bringing wine to Tennessee’s groceries, let’s lift a toast to Red White and Food which is working against liquor lobbyists and bring that “jug of wine” to a grocery shelf near me.

And let’s adopt and adapt Julius Caesar’s famous line to aid our cause while we’re at it.

Instead of “Veni, vidi, vici,” let’s go with “Veni, vidi, vici, vino!”

Evolution of the BBQ Apron

Father’s Day is coming up tomorrow and for those of you who haven’t purchased a gift yet, I’ve got an idea for you – the ultimate outer wear for the master of the grill.

In the 1950s, suburbia led to leisure time and backyard patios and manly barbecuing.

Barbecue accessories have evolved greatly over the past half century.

From this

to this

and this

to this

to this

and this

Ye olden “Kiss the Cook” apron has also evolved.

From this

to this

The apron has progressed into a cargo variation with lots of pockets.

The idea started with this

then advanced to this

But there are those manly men who in this modern age refuse to wear an apron when they throw their meat on the grill or at least near it.

For them I present the Weber Utility Shirt.

Note: The sauce bottle protector pocket is also an excellent spot to stow your beer bottle while you’re flipping your burgers.

Gas Prices Rising = Beer Conspiracy

Oh, this just sums it all up for me.

Suddenly I’m thirsty.

Hops to the rescue.

Unless we elect John McCain, who plans on vetoing BEER!!!!

How on earth could anyone vote for a man who’s already on record as saying he will deny the American people Beer, the golden lager of the Gods.

We’ve already been through one Prohibition and rose up to smite those laws down.

I go back to the Founding Fathers who set this country on the path we have followed successfully for more than two centuries.

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to prosper.”

Read those words that were stated by the brilliant Ben Franklin and know that McCain is aligned with the devil if he thinks he will be able to keep the barley and hops from our breathalyzer breath.

God bless Ben Franklin and Hooray, Beer.

Thirsty for Space Beer

I ran across some news that I can’t believe more people aren’t chatting up here on this blogiverse.

Sure, everyone is writing about the space toilet plumbing foul-up. Newscoma, CNN and everyone in between have been cracking wise with astral potty humor.

But I’ve got bigger news from beyond Earth’s gravity.

There’s now a beer that was brewed using barley that was grown from spawn of seeds that were stored in space for five months.

Come on people. Space beer.

This is huge. And it’s also as close as I’m ever going to get to living the life of The Jetsons.

Sapporo had just enough barley to brew about 100 bottles of the outer space hooch.

I doubt if I’ll ever get a frosty mug of the astro-juice, but I’ve got a bag of pretzels here at the house that I’d love to wash down with the space beer.

It’s got to be better than Tang.

Pong, Pong, Pong, Pong – Beer Pong

While writing a post about alternate uses for beer yesterday over at PopFi, I came across an homage to the creative spirit of our young Americans, the future leaders of the free world.

Feast your eyes upon these 33 amazing beer pong tables.

What else can you attribute these amazing creations to. Oh yeah, you can attribute them to the early stages of alcoholism. My favorites are the Pirates vs. Ninjas version and the artistic mosaic created from beer bottle caps. Beauties!

I’ll admit when I was in my hedonistic alcohol-hazed heyday, we just played quarters. Ah yes, ye golden olden days.