Category Archives: alcoholic beverages

I Want A Trained Drinking Monkey

Oh where oh where can I order one of these?

I don’t care so much about the pickpocket option, but I would be interested in one that doesn’t fling its own poo. Or anyone else’s poo for that matter. No poo flinging in general, just to be clear.

Oh, and non-smoking of course.

Via: Sober in a Nightclub

Where’s The Wine?

I see the perfect spot on that empty shelf for my favorite bottle of vino.

I still have trouble fathoming that in the state of Tennessee it is illegal to sell a bottle of wine in a grocery store.

How big a travesty is that?

I see it as a one-stop shopping opportunity. You know the old line “A jug of wine, a loaf of bread and thou” from the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam as translated by Edward FitzGerald.

Tennessee has some of the most stringent legislation about checking IDs for alcohol purchases in the nation, so how could it be any more tough on the grocery clerk to ask for a driver’s license from someone trying to purchase a bottle of merlot than for a keg of Natural Light?

And yes, it is legal to sell and purchase not just six packs and cases but KEGS of beer at a grocery. I’m sure anyone buying a keg of such a quality beer isn’t about to abuse themselves by imbibing in too much.

So on this day dedicated to blogging about bringing wine to Tennessee’s groceries, let’s lift a toast to Red White and Food which is working against liquor lobbyists and bring that “jug of wine” to a grocery shelf near me.

And let’s adopt and adapt Julius Caesar’s famous line to aid our cause while we’re at it.

Instead of “Veni, vidi, vici,” let’s go with “Veni, vidi, vici, vino!”

Super Bowl Sunday

It’s Super Bowl Sunday.

Hip hip hurray! It’s a holiday in the Squirrel Queen household.

A day for the best finger foods and snacks of all time. A day for football. A day for creative advertising. A day for comradery. A day for beer!

Unlike many seasons, I’m not rooting against a team, but I will be pulling for one this year.

Peyton and the Colts already have one Super Bowl ring and a Lombardi trophy. Let Drew Brees and the rest of New Orleans celebrate tonight. It would be great to be down on Bourbon Street this evening.

Like the song says, “this aint your daddy’s Saints.”

No matter which team wins today, I’ll be OK with it.

Happy New Year 2010 (Fingers Crossed)

So long 2009. I’m not sorry to see you go.

You were rotten in a way that didn’t quite top 2006, the year of The Suck, but you were still unpleasant in more ways than one.

Listen up 2010, I have high expectations for you. You’re no imbecile, but my instructions for you are about as simplistic as the ones posted on that bottle of champagne up there at the top of the page. Be kind. Don’t kick folks when they are down. I’m sure you want to be remembered as “that year” that turned things around for people, instead of the one that haunts their past. You’ve got a chance to get this second decade of the century off on the right foot. I know I’m asking big things from you.

Yes, I’m going to do my part and change many of the habits and routines I’m stuck in, but you have to give back a little too.

So, 2010, let’s make a pact right now. You take care of your end of the bargain. I’ll do all I can on my end and maybe I won’t have to write smack about you at this time next year.

Happy New Year!!

Christmas on Acid – The Vestibules

More Christmas merriment to further tweak your need for alternative carols.

It’s by The Vestibules’ Christmas on Acid with visuals from most of your favorite holiday cartoons. Ahhh, nostalgia.

HT Raincoaster

Wobbly the Dancing Squirrel

It’s Wobbly the Dancing Squirrel.

Actually, though, I believe it’s Wobbly the Squirrel with Parkinson’s Disease. Can squirrels get Parkinson’s?

This just doesn’t look normal to me.

Maybe he’s been eating fermented fruit like the drunk squirrel I posted another time.

Where’s the Bread and Milk?!?!?

So we’ve had a little ice come down in our neck of the woods.

Of course, this means rampaging shoppers have wiped out all the bread and milk in area stores.

I wonder what the lactose intolerant shop for on these days?

Thank goodness the crazy ladies were too busy buying staples to nab all the beer.

I’m good to go.

Squirrel Queen Flickr Meme

I saw this over at Jane Q. Public‘s home and was just curious about doing it for myself.

It’s a Flickr meme. Instead of just typing out your answer on your blog, you head to Flickr and type it into their Flickr’s search box. Once the results pop up, you use only the images that appear on the first page, choose your favorite and copy and paste each of the URLs into the Mosaic Maker (3 columns, 4 rows)… Enjoy!

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you attend?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One word to describe you?
12. Your Flickr name?

Here are my answers:

1. Stephanie

2. Crab pasta (but I like mine with alfredo)

3. South Fulton

4. Green

5. Nicole Kidman

6. Beer

7. Machu Picchu

8. Cheese Cake (but I like most all desserts)

9. Mature (because I so often feel immature)

10. Comfort

11. Mellow

12. Squirrel Queen

Holly and Heartbreaktown have also done Flickr memes, but they’ve been a bit more mysterious about their answers.

Photo Credits: 1. Stephanie_35, 2. Crab Pasta, 3. Bo-Peep Motel, South Fulton, Kentucky, 4. Forest Green, 5. Nicole Kidman, 6. Stella Artois, Belgium, 7. Sunrise, 8. Cheese Cake Cupcakes, 9. a3256 A Mature Red, 10. Comfort in the Leaves, 11. Melt into Mellow Scottish view, 12. Close up squirrel

nablopomo-november-2008

Assault With a Stinky Fart

So a man arrested for DUI had charges stacked on his crap rap sheet when he farted on the officers fingerprinting him in Kanawha County, West Virginia.

For his drunken gaseous effort, the officers added battery on a police officer and obstruction to his chargers.

I’m thinking there was definitely nothing obstructed here and that’s the whole problem.

The actual criminal complaint can be read here.

WSAZ in Charleston, WV has a funny video clip that I couldn’t get to load and some of the details.

Football!

I’ve gathered the family (both human and canine) around ye olden television to watch squirrel football today. It’s the first full Saturday of college football.

I’ve already spent the past month traipsing around my county covering the local teams in preseason and through the first two weeks of the actual high school season. I’ve seen some pretty poor efforts from the locals so far. I’m not expecting any November trips to Murfreesboro, that’s for sure.

I didn’t get to watch all of the Olympics that I would have liked to do, but saw enough to know I missed even more. That gives me two years to get ready for the next Winter Olympics. One thing I did learn from Beijing is that field hockey players need longer sticks. I have joined a water polo fantasy league though as a result of my viewing.

I know the NFL and Brett Favre have been in the news for about 15 years with their never-ending preseason drama, but until they start playing for real and the NFL starters play more than four downs, I don’t care what they do. Call me when they kick off Week 1 not Pre-Week 4 (seemingly nearly half the guys in uniform on the sidelines in Green Bay on Thursday night will be cut before next Sunday).

Give me the first Saturday of college football. Game after game after irrelevant game. It’s Week 1 after all, so there are lots of big names vs. tiny A&M ala the Georgia vs. Georgia Southern game or the Ohio State vs. Youngstown State contest.

No matter, it’s still it’s a good excuse to sit on the couch, drink beer, eat lots of crap, yell at the television and drink beer.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m still excited about baseball. Love the Rays’ story this season. Love the Yankees’ swoon this year. Rooting for the Brewers to make a big splash as the NL Wild Card. Rooting against the Cubs. Bemoaning the Cardinals’ bullpen woes. Ahh, baseball.

Today is all about football though. Chest thumping, mascot mugging, quarterback crushing, tipped pass catching with one hand football.

Hut one, hut two, hike!