South Carolina Serial Killer or Oooh Look at that Giant Peach

South Carolina is in the news again.

No, Gov. Mark Sanford hasn’t been hiking the Appalachian Trail again or flirting with Argentinian women.

I just ran across a story about a new serial killer in Gaffney, South Carolina.

I’m guessing, at least from the way the story is written, this one will eventually turn into a movie on the Lifetime Channel if not an episode of some City Confidential type of show or a crazy Profiler sort of episode.

Come now people. Let’s look at the facts surrounding this bad man.

This mass murderer is denying people the joy of celebrating the birth of democracy. I’m guessing fireworks sales are way down as according to the AP story posted on Yahoo News:

“Terrified residents canceled Fourth of July plans and holed up in their homes Friday as investigators hunted a serial killer believed to have shot four people to death.”

The top local law officer, Cherokee County Sheriff Bill Blanton, has admitted the town is dealing with its own version of Ted Bundy.

“Yes, we have a serial killer,” he said at a news conference in this rural community 50 miles south of Charlotte, N.C.”

The initial victim was a farmer who had been discussing an agricultural transaction  just before his death.

“… peach farmer Kline Cash, 63, was found shot in his living room. Blanton said the killer may have first spoken with Cash’s wife about buying hay. She left and came home a few hours later to find her husband’s body.”

An elderly woman and her daughter were the second and third victims, bound and shot to death on Wednesday.

One day later, a small business owner was slain and his daughter was seriously wounded in their family’s small furniture and appliance shop – the Tyler Home Center.

The Tyler Home Center is sooooo close to the sheriff’s office that a criminal profiler believes the location of the latest murder may have been a taunting act on the part of the serial killer.

“The latest shootings happened less than a half-mile from the sheriff’s office, where at least 30 investigators were already working on the case.”

The entire community is on edge with locked doors and prayers in abundance as a means of defense.

“If he killed once, he’ll kill again,” Hazel Smith said sitting on the front porch with her friends. “Tonight, I’m going to stay inside and pray, pray a little harder that he gets caught.”

Both the sheriff and a local politician are warning that gunplay may be another defense mechanism.

“Residents have their guard up and their gun handy,” said state Sen. Harvey Peeler, R-Gaffney.”

“The sheriff reminded people they have a right to protect themselves and advised salesmen and others to avoid knocking on strangers’ doors with so many on heightened alert.”

The Fuller Brush salesman has been warned, I guess.

“If someone breaks into my house, I’m armed and ready,” said Mike Daniels, 53, a retired Army sergeant. “And I won’t hesitate to shoot first and ask questions later.”

Believe it or not, this isn’t the first serial killer in the South Carolina community.

“… the area was terrorized once before, in the 1960s, by a serial killer dubbed the Gaffney Strangler.”

And if two serial killers in a half century aren’t enough for one small town, then remember that Gaffney has another claim to fame.

“Otherwise, Gaffney is most famous for a giant water tank shaped like a peach that can be seen from Interstate 85.”

Hopefully, the perpetrator will be caught soon, before anyone gets filled with buckshot by a neighbor with an itchy trigger finger.

Image: Essential Architecture

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10 responses to “South Carolina Serial Killer or Oooh Look at that Giant Peach

  1. There is nothing to make fun of about this killer!
    I have many relatives who live on that rd with killings on each side of them.
    One is a 90 yr old! People are taking this seriously and of course very frightened.

  2. This may be just media hype to drown the Sanford issue, don’t you think so?

  3. I am really scared of the killer. My dad works at the walmart in Gaffney. But now the killer is in Grover or Kings Mountain. And I live in Grover.

  4. They got him in Gastonia in case you haven’t heard. But yeah, its a big peach!

  5. The middle name of J. C. Penney is the same name as the crime victim Cash, while Penney’s mother’s maiden name is the same name as the perpetrator’s name! Penney is a 32nd degree Mason!

  6. It is very ironic of that! Cash descendants from the Scottish Cashes.

  7. Correction:The middle name of J. C. Penney is the same name as the crime victim Cash, while Penney’s grandmother’s maiden name is the same name as the perpetrator’s name! Penney is a 32nd degree Mason! Penney is the founder of J. C. Penney stores and it began in Wyoming.

  8. Oh! So that’s what the dark side of the moon looks like!

  9. I like you’re rejoinder dj. Subtle.

  10. Kline Cash is related to the veteran of the Confederacy in the Civil War.

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