The FUTURE

 

Leo – On Friday, the Lion will have more run-ins with coworkers than Britney Spears has had with paparazzi. For luck on Sunday, wear swim fins all day,
whether you’re at the pool or not. Remember on Tuesday even a cactus
needs water occasionally; everyone needs nurturing sometimes.
Virgo – An angelic tot takes an “Omen” turn in a checkout line on Saturday;
avoid shopping. On Monday, heed the message written in the dust. A friend
needs your shoulder to lean on Wednesday night but won’t ask for it;
volunteer to be available.
Libra – The phone call you don’t make may be as important as the one
you do on Saturday. You’ll deal with a temper blazing hotter than the August
sun on Monday; let cooler heads prevail. For luck on Wednesday, keep a lemon
seed tucked in your navel.
Scorpio – Play center field on Friday; an idea pitched in your direction is
worth catching. On Sunday, a romantic entanglement gets knottier than a
kindergartener’s shoelace. For luck on Tuesday, avoid SUVs traveling west.
Sagittarius – Your lucky number on Friday is equal to the number of
beads of sweat that dribble down your back between 3:38 and 5:29 p.m. Every
race, no matter the distance, ends in a sprint to the tape; prepare for a big
kick to the finish on Monday. On Tuesday, your spirits will soar higher than
the mercury during a heat wave.
Capricorn – Work demands on Friday will leave your family wanting more;
don’t neglect your loved ones. For luck on Sunday, make it a joint venture
and paint purple polka dots on your elbows and knees. The Goat’s lucky
number on Tuesday is equal to the number of times you hear “Hot enough
for you?” during the morning multiplied by the temperature at 1:44 p.m.
Aquarius – A coworker’s incessant chatter about a vacation leaves you
needing a mental break on Friday; be patient and visualize yourself
strolling the beaches of Aruba. You’ll need to be as firm as Jell-O
when you make a stand on Sunday. For luck on Tuesday, hop up and down four times
every time you spy something pink.
Pisces – A verbal purge will create an emotional void on Sunday. Your lucky
number on Monday is equal to the number of times a popular tune annoyingly
careens around in your cranium between 8:24 a.m. and 2:22 p.m. Don’t flip
or flop on Wednesday; be as dependable as a sensible lace-up, steel-toed
shoe.
Aries – The Ram will emerge victorious on Friday, but the cost will be high.
Sweet honey may attract more flies on Sunday, but it will still leave a
sticky mess. For luck on Wednesday, answer all cell phone calls on the
fourth ring.
Taurus – Even the exterminator won’t be able to eliminate all your pests on
Saturday; be patient. Your romantic life on Tuesday will have more drama and
tears than a reality TV show. Your efforts on Wednesday will be as
successful as an attempt by Gilligan to get off the island; have a back-up
plan in mind.
Gemini – Riding the fence on Friday will only result in a terrible split;
listen to your heart and pick a side. More than a meager effort will be
required on Sunday; break out the elbow grease. The wisdom is available on
Tuesday; it would be wise to request access to it.
Cancer – For luck on Saturday, keep an anvil with you at all times. Plan to
see your plans change on Monday. A burned bridge can be mended on Wednesday
without the help of the highway department.

 

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4 responses to “The FUTURE

  1. I don’t know why, but these always, ALWAYS, crack me up. Maybe it’s the subtleness…

    Good one, SQ. Good one.

  2. Thanks Freezertroll.
    That made my day.
    I needed that boost.

  3. Anytime! Gotta have happy squirrels

  4. “Aries – The Ram will emerge victorious on Friday, but the cost will be high.”

    Be afraid because ‘coma and I will be the first two out on Friday night….

    Just sayin…

    Hope to see you too!!

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