Daily Archives: July 14, 2007

11 or 77 – Happy Birthday

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My dog Kirby is having her birthday today. We’re celebrating 11 years together as of June 14, 2006.

She is a miniature schnauzer. We got her from my mom, whose schnauzers had a litter. We got the pick of the litter. We liked them all and couldn’t choose which one. So we opted to take home the first one out of gate. That pack leading canine was Eve Kirby Puckett. Her name is a combination of the name from a drag queen (Eve Kirby) and a baseball player (Kirby Puckett).

Our first night together, we celebrated with pizza. Kirby leapt from the couch onto the middle of the pizza which was setting on the coffee table. She still likes pizza.

She’s a mouthy dog who will bitch at you with some yaaarrrrs and hhaaawwwrrs if she wants to go out and you aren’t acting quickly enough. We had Newscoma’s niece convinced she could talk when they were both younger.

She hates the mailman and barks at him every day, even though he just walks on the porch and never bothers anything before he leaves. At our other house, Kirby knew the sound of the postman’s little jeep. Unfortunately, he parked in front of our house and walked the entire length of our street before returning to our lawn and cranking up his chariot again. This meant Kirby barked the entire time he was in the neighborhood, six days a week. She’s a bit protective of her territory.

She hates it when we sneeze. She can be snuggled up on your lap or just curled up on the end of the couch asleep, but if you sneeze, she’ll immediately get up and leave the room, looking over her shoulder at you with disdain. If we want to distract her or get her attention, we fake a sneeze.

She loves baths and showers. At one place where we lived that had a shower curtain instead of a shower door, every two or three months or so, she would jump in the bathtub with me and stand at the back end of the tub just outside of the direct spray but in the splatter and mist.

She’s been losing her eyesight due to cataracs the last few years, but she had an accident last summer that literally cost her one of her eyes. Now she is pretty much blind. She can see light and dark. I’m guessing that’s about it. She will walk into door frames and she is the thing that goes bump in the night. We plugged in a new nightlight recently and for about a week, every night as we made a trek to the backyard for a sabbatical, she would wander toward the small glow  instead of the door.

She nearly died last October. She had to have an emergency hysterectomy, just like Newscoma. We thought she was a goner, but she pulled through and has acted like a spring chicken since her surgery. We didn’t realize how sick she’d been the months leading up to her medical emergency.

That’s our Kirby. She’s bitchy, but we love her.

Happy Birthday to you!

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The FUTURE


Cancer – A wandering feline disturbs your neighborhood on Saturday night; beware of Leo the Lion. For luck on Sunday, eat only green food. Put aside petty feelings for the betterment of all on Tuesday.
Leo – Arguments result only in hurt feelings, not solutions, on Saturday; play peacemaker instead of war monger. You’ll meet someone who is the dip to match your chip on Monday. Your lucky number on Tuesday is equal to the
number of coins under your couch cushions times 44.
Virgo – Heed a warning you receive on Saturday. You have the knowledge everyone needs on Monday; be patient with all the demands on your time. Keep a camera handy on Wednesday; photographic evidence may be necessary later to back up your wild claim.
Libra – Saturday will create more than enough chaos to tip the scales out of balance. A long question needs only a short answer on Sunday; don’t hem or haw. Luxury is unnecessary on Tuesday; stick with the basics.
Scorpio – A Saturday afternoon siesta may be required to survive the evening; grab some serious shuteye. For luck on Monday, avoid using the word “the” in conversations. A new romance heats up higher than the thermometer’s
mercury on Wednesday.
Sagittarius – Spend Saturday night rehashing old times with a friend; you need to rediscover your bond. Your ego inflates larger than Barry Bonds‘ head during his home run
binge after a compliment on Monday. An encounter in a parking lot leaves more than a ding on Wednesday.
Capricorn – Purge all negative thoughts on Saturday; put on a happy face. Mighty oaks grow from tiny acorns; don’t disparage a little idea on Monday. Gossip creates havoc on Wednesday; keep the lips zipped.
Aquarius – Own up to your mistakes on Saturday and then move on. Avoid clowns with and without greasepaint on Monday. The chores on your list will be long, but take some time for yourself on Tuesday.
Pisces – Saturday the meek will get run over; be assertive. Your lucky number on Sunday is equal to the number of black Rams you spy on the streets between 1:17 and 4:33 p.m. You’ll receive sage advice from an unexpected
source on Tuesday.
Aries – Avoid overheating on Saturday; hydrate. It may be best to cut some ties on Monday; hone your knife. Wednesday, a busy day at work won’t allow you to take a mental vacation.
Taurus – Get a move on and get your groove on; a hot date steams up things on Saturday.Tuesday, for luck, spell artichoke aloud before dialing the phone. The atmosphere on Wednesday resembles a canine/feline, love/hate relationship.
Gemini – For luck on Saturday, avoid wearing shoes. Get a move on and get your groove on; a hot date steams up
things on Saturday. Relish the moment on Monday; but don’t act like a hot dog. Put aside jealousy on Wednesday and congratulate your rival.