Monthly Archives: June 2007

The Oscar goes to …

It seems the innertubes are buzzing about “the dramatic chipmunk”.

First, I’ve learned its actually a prairie dog. What a prairie dog was doing in Japan where the clip originated has never been made very clear, but the impersonation of a chipmunk is spot on. Squirrel Queen can spot an imposter a mile away, but gives a thumb’s up and kudos to the prairie dog for this one. Well deserving of the little golden statue it earned.

Second, the dang thing is funny. The choice for the music bed was brilliant.

Squirrel De Milo

So I’ve been thinking about not having arms since I did the meme the other day.

Would Dick Tracy, Barney Miller or Grissom be able to nab an armless criminal?

The CSI squad could be in trouble. Fingerprints would not be an evidence option in checking out a crime scene.

Something to ponder.

It’s all about me me me me meme

Newscoma has tagged me to put more of what makes the Squirrel Queen stand out from her loyal subjects.

I’ve got to put 8 more tidbits about what makes me tick. Oh wait, errr, Newscoma is Tick. Let’s try that again.

I’ve got to put 8 more tidbits about what makes me me.

Here are The Squirrel Queen Files.

1. I practice picking things up off the floor with my toes in case my arms get chopped off in a horrible logging accident.

2. Speaking of logging, my best Halloween costume ever was called “Revenge of the Spotted Owl” and involved a flannel shirt.

3. I love watching reruns of old TV shows late at night on Nick At Nite. I’m talking about everything from the brilliant Dick Van Dyke Show to the super nostalgic Leave It To Beaver to the really cheesy things like Mr. Ed.

4. Once I get started on a jigsaw puzzle, I can’t stop until it’s finished. The more pieces, the better.

5.  I hate missing the previews when I go to the movies. If it’s too close to the start time when we arrive, I prefer to wait for another showing of the flick.

6. When I was a kid, I thought the greatest thing I could grow up to be was the next Carol Burnett.

7. I have no skills with a yo-yo. Gravity wins.

8. I have had the same wristwatch for about 15 years. Time keeps on tickin’ …

There you go. More useless trivia about the Squirrel Queen.

So if you’re ever on Jeapordy and Alex shows the categories and there between Opera and Condiments you spy Squirrel Queen, you can say, with confidence, “Alex, I’ll take Squirrel Queen for $500.”

Now, I’m supposed to tag 8 folks, but I’m not tagging anyone, but if you want to do your own meme on your blog, feel free.

Or if you’d like to leave random odd tidbits about yourself in the comments below, go to it.

Reptile bulimia or hippo upchuck

I was actually looking for the video trailer for Jerry Seinfeld’s next project, Bee Movie and typed some info into the youtube search slot and this is what I got instead.

Amazing. A giant snake has eaten a hippo. Incredibly distended, prodded by some men, the reptile then stretches its mouth in an unbelievalbe distortion and then sloooowwwlly vomits out this hippo. Granted, I don’t think it’s a full grown hippo, but STILL. It’s huge compared to the original circumference of this snake.

Here’s the video

After “digesting” this nature flick, I went back and found my original target – Jerry Seinfeld. Here’s a clip featuring the sitcom star and director Steven Spielberg along with a few other cameos.

Oh, and if you’re interested, here’s the actual trailer to Seinfeld’s animated flick, Bee Movie.


So I finally got around to taking my personality test to find out which world leader I most resemble.

Newscoma posted this the other day and I didn’t take the time to fill in all the little circles to see my all-powerful soul mate. With everybody over there matching up with Hitler and Kennedy with a few Bill Clintons mixed in, I wondered who would be the salt to my pepper.

And, lo and behold, you can call me Al.

See, I knew I was a kindred spirit with Albert. That’s why I posted this and created the pic below a while back.

If you’d like to take the test to find what world leader you match, go here.

Chicken Little

So I was expecting another scorcher today – blazing sun, dustbowl conditions, an SPF 500 sort of experience – when I heard an unfamiliar pitter patter against my window pane.

What could it be?

Something was dropping from the sky. Like Chicken Little, I went running through the house yelling that the sky was falling.

Then I recalled fairy tales from my long-ago youth, rumors really, that I heard sitting at the knee of my great, great grandmother. Recalling stories she had heard when not much older than  the wide-eyed tot absorbing her own words like a kitten lapping up milk from a bowl, she recounted these myths. She told tales of wetness that fell from the clouds above and soaked the hard, crusted earth. The drops fell as individuals but worked together to create puddles and mud and turn the grass green and encourage the flowers stand up tall and proud.

These moist alien invaders from space were welcome and regular visitors. Bringing bounty to the land, which first filled the larders and pantries and root cellars and eventually the bellies of the people.

After recalling these legends of intruders from the sky called RANE, I doubted these tall tales as a mental creation – a dream saga of a senile old woman.

I then called Homeland Security to alert them of a potential terrorist invasion from above.

I feel so much safer now.

Rice the traveling squirrel

One of the Squirrel Queen’s legion has been very busy as a traveling vagabond.

Rice the squirrel has been traversing the nation with a goal of visiting all 50 states. For a plastic squirrel, he gets around and has had several exciting adventures.

He has not only met hot X-games and Olympic athletes like Shaun White, but he’s visiting everyday folks on his stops here and there across the nation.

Check out his adventures on his Web site Hometown Invasion.

Here’s Rice’s flickr site so you can see Rice in action.

What’s your sign?

So you’ve been wondering what’s going to happen next week. Pondering your future. Mulling over the coming days and the unforeseen events.

Worry no longer!

The Squirrel Queen provides a forecast, a peek into the future.


Cancer — The Crab will feel the heat on Friday, but at least it will be a dry heat. Remember an old friend on Sunday; they might be in need. The brine gets deep when you get in a pickle on Tuesday.
Leo — Keep tissues nearby on Saturday; emotions break through the dam and flood the Lion’s heart and mind. Your competitive nature tries to take over on Monday, but this time it would be wiser to let someone else win. For luck on Wednesday, only park your vehicle facing North.
Virgo — On Saturday, spurn nostalgia; the future where you’re headed appears bright. Things heat up on Monday, but the forecast calls for a cold shower. A household task turns into a disaster on Wednesday; keep the Yellow Pages handy.
Libra — For luck on Friday, dig deep into your closet and wear your rarely-used raincoat wherever you go. Keep a song in your heart because you’ll have murder on your mind on Monday. The planets will align for a new beginning on Wednesday.
Scorpio — You’ll feel like Chicken Little predicting the sky is falling on Saturday; try to keep a positive attitude. An unexpected trip leads to a great reward on Monday. For monetary luck on Tuesday, wear only shades of green.
Sagittarius — Though you’ll feel like you’ve traversed the Sahara, the rainbow you spy won’t be a mirage on Friday. You’ll have to make a life-altering decision on Sunday; listen to both your heart and your sense of reason. Splurge and treat yourself to something extra special on Tuesday.
Capricorn — Put aside your fears and plunge into the emotional deep end on Saturday. You’ll be asked to do something that challenges you on Monday; you can succeed. Play along but don’t make promises on Wednesday.
Aquarius — Your romantic dry spell comes to an end on Friday. For luck on Sunday, carry an open umbrella with you wherever you go.  Don’t bank on others coming through for you on Tuesday.
Pisces — Your words carry great weight on Saturday; weigh them well before offering them to others. You’ll have a better chance of spotting cumulus clouds than meeting a goal on Monday. A crying toddler puts a damper on your day Wednesday.
Aries — You’ll find yourself dancing the dance to advance on Friday; try the watusi instead of the monkey for better results. A blank stare doesn’t mean the wheels aren’t turning on Sunday. For luck on Wednesday, lick all envelopes from left to right.
Taurus — Don’t get sucked into the boob tube on Saturday; spend time with loved ones. Monday, the grass is greener on the other side proving it’s time to water your lawn. Silence is better than providing a wrong answer on Wednesday.
Gemini — Friday night, don’t hang your hopes on a shooting star. Work is what’s needed. Signs indicate your old path will be treacherous; head in a new direction on Monday. Wednesday, all will be well for those who walk backwards everywhere they go.



Land of Nod


OK, Newscoma is a virtual peeping tom, trying to peer into my bedroom to find out six things the Squirrel Queen does before closing her eyes and visiting the Land of Nod.

Here goes:

1. count the acorns I’ve got tucked away under the sofa. I’m always looking ahead to the cold winter months.

2. poke head outside nest to make sure nocturnal predatory owl isn’t cruising the treetops in my neighborhood.

3. use hairbrush to give bushy squirrel tail 100 strokes to ensure it maintains its glorious luster.

4. shoo lightning bugs away from nest to make things nice and dark. 

5. turn television to the Animal Planet to check out latest gossip about my neighbors

6. turn over on my right side and study the inside of my eyelids until the sun comes up.

It seems like within the past week, I’ve posted more and more of the intimate details of my life than ever before. Pretty soon there will be a special on the E! network about my life taken from all the stuff I’ve posted recently.

If anyone else wants to take up this meme, feel free to bare your night time rituals with the world.

My legion takes a hit

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Oh Woe is the Squirrel Queen as she mourns a fallen follower smote down by the tiny military might that G.I. Joe and his ilk have at their beck and call.

Please, just give squirrel peace a chance.

Found this here. They’ve got some fun and cool stuff over there to peruse.