Category Archives: television

The Moon and the Tides

squirrel in the moon

Rant begins here > So I’m reading that Bill O’Reilly doesn’t understand why the tides roll in and out. Ask any sixth-grader. It’s the moon’s gravitational pull, or is “science” still a dirty word?

Science, why that’s for the birds. Birds that are falling out of the sky that is. Wait, isn’t that a sign of some foreboding apocalypse? Yikes. The gods, they must be angry. Wait, Angry Birds. Isn’t that a game on the Intertubes? Ahh, it’s all coming around again. Just like the Mayan Calendar. Wait, is this all leading up to 2012? Wait, that was a movie and movies are made by liberals and that means they believe in science. My mind is exploding!!!!111!!~

Chia Obama = Blooming Patriotism

chia squirrel

I hate to spoil it for all you folks on my Christmas list, but I can’t wait to share what I’m getting everyone for Christmas. I have considered in the past making a pact with myself to purchase every single Christmas gift at convenience stores. I’m not doing that this year, maybe next year (I can see you squirming with excitement already).

However, I have found the perfect gift for every single person on my list. From plant lovers to patriots, I’ve got you covered.

It’s the Obama Chia Pet from the Proud to be American Chia series.

Or maybe you’d rather have the Statue of Liberty Chia with the “ever-glowing flame.”

Feeling a bit more revolutionary, there’s the George Washington Chia.

There’s also an Abraham Lincoln Chia edition, but I can’t understand why they didn’t manufacture it where Lincoln’s beard will also grow green plants. Only his hair grows. Shouldn’t Abe be wearing a stovepipe hat to cover his hair, leaving his chin as the best spot for luxurious growing greenery?

Face in Space

squirrel astronaut

Sometimes NASA is just cool.

A couple of years ago they sent a Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter into orbit around the moon. Included on the craft was a microchip that had the names of anyone who submitted their moniker to the NASA website. I made sure that little chip had my name upon it. Matter of fact, as a tribute to a friend who loved space but was taken too soon by the damned demon that is cancer, we actually filled out the form in his name and gave the certificate to his widow. Stew is still circling the moon as we speak.

I mean heck, we obviously aren’t getting flying cars or living like the Jetsons and jetting off to space anytime soon. I thought that was my one shot at being an astronaut.

Until NOW!

NASA is at it again. This time you can send your pic out into the zero gravity zone on an upcoming launch of the Space Shuttle.

I submitted the pic at the top of this post. See, I was already prepared for my astro moment.

The Face in Space page says:

NASA wants to put a picture of you on one of the two remaining space shuttle missions and launch it into orbit.

(snip)

Return to this site after launch to print your Flight Certificate – a commemorative certificate signed by the Mission Commander.

How cool is that!?!?!

And just know that if my picture sees a UFO while it’s out there, I told it to wave at the little green men and then come back and report to Fox Mulder.

Saying so long to the King and the Boss

Squirrel_spinning_basketbalIt’s been a busy seven days in the sports world.
Spain has been crowned the new top dog in soccer. Major League Baseball held its Midsummer Classic and lost two of the Big Apple’s favorites. And of course, the NBA was turned topsy turvy by the announcement of the forming of the 3-Heat.
It was a week ago that LeBron James went from being the lone wolf in Cleveland to just one of the guys in Miami. King James ended his free agency by joining Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh, turning his back on his home team Cavs and the chance to be “the man.”
I understand the lure of winning rings and appreciate the desire to be on a winning team. I get playing night after night with your best buddies, but personally I think becoming a part of a trio dilutes James’ chance to ascend above every other player. Now, instead of one “King,” we have three stars.
Michael Jordan didn’t bolt from Chicago after the Bulls were trounced in the playoffs those first few seasons. The Bulls didn’t rush out and try to sign Charles Barkley or Karl Malone.
Instead, they drafted a lanky kid out of Central Arkansas. When he was selected, nobody expected Scottie Pippen to grow into the perfect accomplice to Jordan, but he did.
LeBron may have lost as many fans as he made with all the hoopla prior to the switch to the Heat. I know I was turned off by the deafening crescendo of media noise leading up to his primetime special. Yes, there was interest in whether loyalty would win out over playing in a state with no income tax, but we really didn’t need a 24-7 accounting of his every waking moment.
The Heat have definitely improved their chances of taking the title from Kobe and the Lakers, but we’ll see if there are enough shots in a game to satisfy the Heats’ new superstars.
Then on Tuesday, baseball lost an icon. New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner succumbed to a heart attack.
As much as LeBron flipped the NBA script with his free agency, Steinbrenner changed baseball with his decision to buy the best players available.
I was just a kid back in ye olden days when the lure of cold hard cash first put many of my favorite players in pinstripes. As a fan of the Oakland A’s then, it was hard to watch former A’s Reggie Jackson and Catfish Hunter end up in New York. I guess that’s how Pittsburgh Pirates fans feel in this day and age.
After buying the Yankees in 1973, Steinbrenner with his famous altercations with managers and players became as synonymous with his team as any player on the field. Heck, he even became a pop culture star when George Costanza had frequent encounters with The Boss on television’s “Seinfeld.”
Dying only days after legendary Yankees announcer Bob Sheppard, it was fitting the 80 year old passed away on the day the All-Star game was played. He wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

Ke$ha and Star Trek

The only thing that could make an earworm more palatable and tolerable would be a mashup.

I’ve had Ke$ha’s “Tik Tok” cycling through my head for about a week now. (Thank you. I know your pity is palpable).

To make the pain a little easier, I found this video that combines the pop star and Captain Kirk and now I must share it with you.

Ok, it’s not sharing, it’s more like I’m spreading the misery.

You can thank me later.

]

Feel Good Friday – Evolve

Happy Friday everyone!

I know this is a commercial for Gatorade, but I can’t find a video version of the song without it, plus I still dig watching Muhammad Ali strut and do his shuffle.

The song is by Kermit Quinn.

Betty White Does Portland

Since my visit, I’ve always felt Portland, Oregon was one cool city that would be a great place to live and now think I have a new favorite publication – The Portland Mercury.

The Mercury held a poll allowing readers to pick the cover art for an edition.

What did the citizens of the fair city of Portland come up with to grace their Mercury?

How about Betty White in a metal bikini wielding a flaming chainsaw while riding on the back of a centaur with John Ritter at its head.

Here’s the rendition of that as compiled by artist Andrew Zubko.

I know you are as impressed as I am.

I heart this greatly!