Loch Ness Monster Mystery Solved

Giant squids – sneakier than we thought.

Most sizes are sold out, but you can still find your giant or tiniest friends a cool Nessie/Squid Imposter T-shirt.

Tex & Edna Boil’s Organ Emporium Video

So Newscoma posted a video on her blog of an entrepreneurial couple (Sharon and Fred) wooing customers to their video business with an online commercial that reminded me of one thing – Tex and Edna Boil’s Organ Emporium.

Yes, Andrea Martin and Dave Thomas nailed local television commercials in the 1970s with their performances as the Boils on SCTV. Brilliant stuff as was the entire show.

Sharon and Fred make their online pitch just a bit brighter by including animation for a song about Ogopogo – a Loch Ness Monster sort of creature. Who needs a movie, indeed!

Here’s a link to another magical Boil moment on SCTV. Makes me want to tickle the ivories on a Rhythm Ace.

Vodpod videos no longer available. from squirrelqueen.vodpod posted with vodpod

Oscar mania winds down

I survived another Oscar night without a hitch or a glitch or a hangover. Woo Hoo!!!

“No Country for Old Men” was the big winner on the night.

If you read through my entire evening of blog posts about the Oscars, you deserve a gold star and a stroll down some Internet red carpet.

For a complete rundown of all the Oscar winners and her take on the overall event, you can head over to Sharon Cobb’s site.

For the fashion police, here are pics of all the ugly/beautiful Oscar gowns. Personally, I thought Diablo Cody’s animal print rocked the carpet. Way to be your own person and not bow to the fashionistas. And congrats on winning for “Juno”.

Well, I guess it’s back to goofy blog posts about squirrels, baseball, Elvis and the Loch Ness Monster.

Bye bye Bat Boy

The Squirrel Queen is in mourning this week.

I found out the horrible news from Newscoma who heard the word from Cuppa Joe. Drastic news of this sort travels fast, leaving many tears to be shed and cloth to be ripped.

The Weekly World News is shutting down.

A staple of my life for more than two decades, my source for news about Bat Boy, Bigfoot, Alien invasions, the Loch Ness Monster and so much more will no longer ease my passage through the checkout lines in stores. It won’t be there to comfort me as my cheeks adjust to the chill of the cold porcelain. How will I go on?

My love for the rag began so long ago. Working alone late at night at a radio station, I not only read WWN, but I also perused every page of the Memphis Commercial Appeal looking for odd A.P. stories for the radio station’s morning show team to use. There, tucked away at the bottom of a column many pages deep inside the traditional Appeal, I’d find tales of dogs walking hundreds of miles back to their original owners after getting lost during a family vacation or stories of singing birds alerting their owners to a blaze within the home in time to save lives or the odd story about what was recovered from the gastric areas of humans in emergency surgeries just in time to keep them upright and on planet Earth.

Then a few weeks later, I would find many of these same stories inside the WWN acting again as filler between the brilliant Dear Dotty and Ed Anger columns. I would alert people to the veracity of many of the stories inside the grocery store tabloid and would often be scoffed at. But I kept those clippings from the Commercial Appeal and showed the doubters the A.P. evidence. It rarely did much to convince the naysayers.

I even used WWN to decorate my first apartment. It was in an old home that had been split into a duplex, thus we had a long hallway on our side that went basically nowhere. I used headlines and cover art to create a WWN wallpaper, covering the cheap wood paneling with ink about Bigfoot and Bat Boy art all the way up to the molding just below the 10-foot ceiling. It truly was a decorating masterpiece. Martha would have been very proud.

I still have a WWN cover from a few years ago when Bat Boy hunted down Osama Bin Laden. I taped that one to the wall of my office just across from my desk. Whenever I needed writing inspiration, all I had to do was glance up and make eye contact with Bat Boy and the ideas flowed from my fingertips to the keyboard. Magic.

Unlike Newscoma, I never sent in a resume, but it certainly would have been a “dream” job to dream up news of that sort.

Farewell my black-and-white-and-read-all-over friend.

Tiger shills for the Squirrel Queen

 

In case you haven’t noticed, Tiger Woods is trying his darnedest to weasel his way into the Squirrel Queen’s legion.

The links-prowling Tiger is sporting the Squirrel Queen’s shorthand moniker on his noggin.

Look. Here’s a picture with it right there on his cap, next to the Nike swoosh. In big, bold capital letters – SQ – just above his ear.

Not only is he trying to woo me by wearing my initials. He’s also trying to captivate me by keeping a SasQuatch in his golf bag. He knows how much a Bigfoot sighting intrigues both me and Newscoma.

Next thing you know just to get my attention he’ll be reporting sightings of the Loch Ness Monster in some water hazard on the next golf course he traverses.

All this to get the attention of the Squirrel Queen.

Thanks and a hat tip to Smiley, King of the Sewanee Course, for sending this little tidbit my way.