Category Archives: greed

I’m With Coco B.

All this television chatter about Jay Leno’s primetime failure and subsequent return to late night by supplanting Conan O’Brien‘s current slot got me to thinking.

There’s an “I’m With Coco” movement afoot for those folks supporting the carrot-topped (but not that Carrot Top) tv host. O’Brien has opted to put his foot down and refuse to move.

Talk all you want about that Conan, but I’m rooting for a different Conan.

The original Conan – The Barbarian.

The real deal who would smite down Leno with one deft swoop of his sword. “The Chin” would fall in a heap at this Conan’s feet.

Gawker has a round-up of all the late night hosts and their Leno bashing.

Om Nom Nom Nom

Suddenly I’m very hungry.

(Don’t let the still image on the video fool you. It’s not overtly sexual in nature and very safe for work, etc.)

Treasure Hunting Via Google Earth

Treasure maps are so last century.

According to the Telegraph, an LA man has now used the Internet and Google Earth to find a shipwreck that he claims is filled with silver and gold.

The location of the swamped Spanish ship is somewhere along the coast of Texas.

He is suing for the right to dig up what he believes is his treasure.

If you aren’t into sunken ships, Urlesque has the top 10 views captured by Google Street Maps, including passed out drunks, rescued kitties and bicycle accidents.

There are more unusual Street view captures at the Google Street View Gallery.

And here are some videos mocking Google’s invasive in your neighborhood vibe.

Where’s the Bread and Milk?!?!?

So we’ve had a little ice come down in our neck of the woods.

Of course, this means rampaging shoppers have wiped out all the bread and milk in area stores.

I wonder what the lactose intolerant shop for on these days?

Thank goodness the crazy ladies were too busy buying staples to nab all the beer.

I’m good to go.

Mark Cuban = Styx Renegade

So mega Maverick Mark Cuban has gotten in trouble with the SEC for insider trading ala Martha Stewart.

Cuban, the owner of the Dallas Mavericks NBA franchise and a multi-Billionaire (yeah that’s a B), got a tip about a stock and he sold them immediately, saving himself about $750,000. The stock that got him in hot water was for an Internet site called mamma.com.

I immediately got a song stuck in my head as a result of hearing that tidbit and it’s not a ditty I’m enjoying. It’s Styx and their tune Renegade. You know the one I’m talking about. It starts out:

“Oh mamma I’m in fear for my life from the long arm of the law. Lawman has put an end to my running and I’m so far from my home
Oh mamma I can hear you a-crying you’re so scared and all alone
Hangman is coming down from the gallows and I don’t have very
long

The jig is up the news is out they’ve finally found me
The renegade who had it made retrieved for a bounty
Never more to go astray
This will be the end today of the wanted man”

Appropriate don’t you think.

Oh, and sorry. I just couldn’t stand to put the video on my blog. I really abhor Styx, but if you’re dying to hear the song now, click here.

(Photo by AP/Matt Slocum)

Beware of Scams

I got this in my e-mail from my aunt. Thought it was funny and wanted to share it.
Subject: MY DEAR AMERICAN FRIEND

MY DEAR AMERICAN FRIEND:

I AM NEEDING TO ASK YOU TO SUPPORT AN URGENT SECRET BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH A TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF GREAT MAGNITUDE.

I AM MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY OF THE REPUBLIC OF AMERICA. MY COUNTRY HAS HAD CRISIS THAT HAS CAUSED NEED FOR LARGE TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF 700 BILLION OF YOUR DOLLARS (US). IF YOU WOULD ASSIST ME IN THIS TRANSFER IT WOULD BE MOST PROFITABLE TO YOU.

I AM WORKING WITH HIGHLY REPUTABLE MR. PHIL GRAM, LOBBYIST FOR UBS, WHO WILL BE MY REPLACEMENT AS MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY IN JANUARY IF MY POLITICAL PARTY WINS UPCOMING ELECTION, WHICH WE CERTAINLY WILL BECAUSE WE ARE IN CONTROLING OF THE HIGHEST SUPREME COURT. YOU MAY REMEMBER HIM AS A SENATOR AS LEADER OF THE AMERICAN BANKING DEREGULATION MOVEMENT IN THE 1990S.

I AM ALSO WORKING WITH HIGHLY REPUTABLE MR. BARNEY FRANK, MEMBER OF CONGRESS FROM PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC OF MASSACHUSETTS, WHO WILL BE MY REPLACEMENT AS MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY IN JANUARY IF OTHER POLITICAL PARTY, LED BY MR. BARACK OBAMA, WIN UPCOMING ELECTION, WHICH HE CERTAINLY WILL BECAUSE HE IS IN CONTROLLING OF VOTING IN ILLINOIS, OHIO, FLORIDA, AND MANY OTHER STATES. MR. BARNEY FRANK IS VERY KNOWLEDGEABLE ABOUT FINANCIAL TRANSACTIONS OF ALL KINDS, AND FAITHFULLY TEACHES PRECEPTS OF MR. BARACK OBAMA (“FROM TINY A.C.O.R.N. GROWS GIANT FORECLOSURE OAK!”).

THIS TRANSACTIN IS 100% SAFE. YOU MUST TRUST ME COMPLETELY AND NOT ASK QUESTIONS ABOUT THE TRANSACTION. YOU HAVE MY WORD NO ONE WILL DO ANYTHING WRONG WITH THE MONEY. THIS IS A MATTER OF GREAT URGENCY. WE NEED YOUR BLANK CHECK. WE NEED THE FUNDS AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. WE CANNOT DIRECTLY TRANSFER THESE FUNDS IN THE NAMES OF OUR CLOSE FRIENDS BECAUSE WE ARE CONSTANTLY UNDER SURVEILLANCE. MY FAMILY LAWYER ADVISED ME THAT I SHOULD LOOK FOR A RELIABLE AND TRUSTWORTH PERSONAGE WHO WILL ACT AS A NEXT OF KIN SO THE FUNDS CAN BE TRANSFERRED.

YOU ARE THAT PERSONAGE.

PLEASE REPLY WITH ALL OF YOUR BANK ACCOUNT, IRA AND COLLEGE FUND ACCOUNT NUMBERS AND THOSE OF YOUR CHILDREN, GRANDCHILDREN AND THOSE YET UNBORN TO WALLSTREETBAILOUT@ TREASURY. GOV SO THAT WE MAY TRANSFER YOUR COMMISSION FOR THIS TRANSACTION.

AFTER I RECEIVE THIS INFORMATION I WILL RESPOND WITH DETAILED INFORMATION ABOUT SAFEGUARDS WE PROMISE WILL BE USED TO PROTECT THE FUNDS AND PRODUCE A LONG-TERM RETURN ON INVESTMENT FOR YOU AND THOSE YOU LOVE.

YOURS FAITHFULLY

MINISTER OF TREASURY H. PAULSON

P.S.: YOU CAN REALLY TRUST ME. LOOK AT DOLLAR BILL. MY SIGNATURE IS ON THE MONEY.

Thanks Hank for the big bailout

I want my share of the $700 billion bailout just like everybody else, but how will Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson know about the bills I need to pay off unless I send them to him.

Sounds like a plan.

Check out ThanksHank.org

Money Makes The World Go Around

The World Wildlife Fund put together this appropo little ditty.

Sure it’s not techco prairie dogs, but what with all the talk about bailouts, I thought this might fit the billions bill today.

Let’s all go out and hug a tree and avoid a crashing elephant or giraffe for that matter.

Simpsons iPod

I want one NOW!!!!

Please !!!!!

Pretty Please !!!!

They have all varieties from shuffles to touches with three different Simpsons logos etched on.

They’re a bit pricier, but not a ton more than the regular cost and you get your name etched on it.

Cool beans, if you ask me.

Here‘s where you can order one for me.

Go ahead.

I promise I’ll say “Thank you very much.”

Assault with a Frozen Chicken

Here at the Squirrel Queen’s palace, we celebrated Snake Week back in the spring of 2008 when a confluence of reptile stories caught my eye.

Now, it appears 2008 will be the Summer of the Bird. We’ve had chicken bombs, Smoke Monster starlings and territorial blackbirds flying to the forefront.

Now the feathered fever is involving humans.

It seems a man in Detroit attacked his neighbor with frozen chicken parts. The wallop from the 10-pound bag resulted in stitches for the woman. The clucker attack came after the same man stabbed his mother in the neck with a fork. The assaults were the results of his requests for cash being denied.

I’m guessing a man comporting himself in such a manner didn’t say “please” when he requested their money.

Arrests were made and the man is now cooped up.