Where’s the Bread and Milk?!?!?

So we’ve had a little ice come down in our neck of the woods.

Of course, this means rampaging shoppers have wiped out all the bread and milk in area stores.

I wonder what the lactose intolerant shop for on these days?

Thank goodness the crazy ladies were too busy buying staples to nab all the beer.

I’m good to go.

Squirrel Queen Flickr Meme

I saw this over at Jane Q. Public’s home and was just curious about doing it for myself.

It’s a Flickr meme. Instead of just typing out your answer on your blog, you head to Flickr and type it into their Flickr’s search box. Once the results pop up, you use only the images that appear on the first page, choose your favorite and copy and paste each of the URLs into the Mosaic Maker (3 columns, 4 rows)… Enjoy!

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you attend?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One word to describe you?
12. Your Flickr name?

Here are my answers:

1. Stephanie

2. Crab pasta (but I like mine with alfredo)

3. South Fulton

4. Green

5. Nicole Kidman

6. Beer

7. Machu Picchu

8. Cheese Cake (but I like most all desserts)

9. Mature (because I so often feel immature)

10. Comfort

11. Mellow

12. Squirrel Queen

Holly and Heartbreaktown have also done Flickr memes, but they’ve been a bit more mysterious about their answers.

Photo Credits: 1. Stephanie_35, 2. Crab Pasta, 3. Bo-Peep Motel, South Fulton, Kentucky, 4. Forest Green, 5. Nicole Kidman, 6. Stella Artois, Belgium, 7. Sunrise, 8. Cheese Cake Cupcakes, 9. a3256 A Mature Red, 10. Comfort in the Leaves, 11. Melt into Mellow Scottish view, 12. Close up squirrel

Football!

I’ve gathered the family (both human and canine) around ye olden television to watch squirrel football today. It’s the first full Saturday of college football.

I’ve already spent the past month traipsing around my county covering the local teams in preseason and through the first two weeks of the actual high school season. I’ve seen some pretty poor efforts from the locals so far. I’m not expecting any November trips to Murfreesboro, that’s for sure.

I didn’t get to watch all of the Olympics that I would have liked to do, but saw enough to know I missed even more. That gives me two years to get ready for the next Winter Olympics. One thing I did learn from Beijing is that field hockey players need longer sticks. I have joined a water polo fantasy league though as a result of my viewing.

I know the NFL and Brett Favre have been in the news for about 15 years with their never-ending preseason drama, but until they start playing for real and the NFL starters play more than four downs, I don’t care what they do. Call me when they kick off Week 1 not Pre-Week 4 (seemingly nearly half the guys in uniform on the sidelines in Green Bay on Thursday night will be cut before next Sunday).

Give me the first Saturday of college football. Game after game after irrelevant game. It’s Week 1 after all, so there are lots of big names vs. tiny A&M ala the Georgia vs. Georgia Southern game or the Ohio State vs. Youngstown State contest.

No matter, it’s still it’s a good excuse to sit on the couch, drink beer, eat lots of crap, yell at the television and drink beer.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m still excited about baseball. Love the Rays’ story this season. Love the Yankees’ swoon this year. Rooting for the Brewers to make a big splash as the NL Wild Card. Rooting against the Cubs. Bemoaning the Cardinals’ bullpen woes. Ahh, baseball.

Today is all about football though. Chest thumping, mascot mugging, quarterback crushing, tipped pass catching with one hand football.

Hut one, hut two, hike!

Is It Illegal To Cut Grass? – Drunk Steven on a Lawnmower

Drunken man on a lawnmower, it sounds like a show on the Speed Network, but it’s in fact a hilarious video of scofflaw Steven cruising the neighborhood with beer in hand and a bladder full of urine.

Enjoy!

If you liked that one, check out this drunken soccer referee or the drunken Darth Vader.

Evolution of the BBQ Apron

Father’s Day is coming up tomorrow and for those of you who haven’t purchased a gift yet, I’ve got an idea for you – the ultimate outer wear for the master of the grill.

In the 1950s, suburbia led to leisure time and backyard patios and manly barbecuing.

Barbecue accessories have evolved greatly over the past half century.

From this

to this

and this

to this

to this

and this

Ye olden “Kiss the Cook” apron has also evolved.

From this

to this

The apron has progressed into a cargo variation with lots of pockets.

The idea started with this

then advanced to this

But there are those manly men who in this modern age refuse to wear an apron when they throw their meat on the grill or at least near it.

For them I present the Weber Utility Shirt.

Note: The sauce bottle protector pocket is also an excellent spot to stow your beer bottle while you’re flipping your burgers.

Japanese Waistlines Must Shrink

I have gained way too much weight over the last five years or so.

It bugs me, but I haven’t committed wholeheartedly to change that just yet.

I really should drop at least some of that tonnage for so many reasons, but my lack of willpower troubles me. And I love food, most of the bad variety, and beer.

However, if I lived in Japan, that choice to lose those pesky pounds wouldn’t be up to me.

The Japanese government is mandating waistline restrictions on its populace.

Seriously. Government regulations on waistline sizes. Too many inches leads to trouble.

Maybe it was the obese monkeys that started this whole thing.

Gas Prices Rising = Beer Conspiracy

Oh, this just sums it all up for me.

Suddenly I’m thirsty.

Hops to the rescue.

Unless we elect John McCain, who plans on vetoing BEER!!!!

How on earth could anyone vote for a man who’s already on record as saying he will deny the American people Beer, the golden lager of the Gods.

We’ve already been through one Prohibition and rose up to smite those laws down.

I go back to the Founding Fathers who set this country on the path we have followed successfully for more than two centuries.

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to prosper.”

Read those words that were stated by the brilliant Ben Franklin and know that McCain is aligned with the devil if he thinks he will be able to keep the barley and hops from our breathalyzer breath.

God bless Ben Franklin and Hooray, Beer.

Thirsty for Space Beer

I ran across some news that I can’t believe more people aren’t chatting up here on this blogiverse.

Sure, everyone is writing about the space toilet plumbing foul-up. Newscoma, CNN and everyone in between have been cracking wise with astral potty humor.

But I’ve got bigger news from beyond Earth’s gravity.

There’s now a beer that was brewed using barley that was grown from spawn of seeds that were stored in space for five months.

Come on people. Space beer.

This is huge. And it’s also as close as I’m ever going to get to living the life of The Jetsons.

Sapporo had just enough barley to brew about 100 bottles of the outer space hooch.

I doubt if I’ll ever get a frosty mug of the astro-juice, but I’ve got a bag of pretzels here at the house that I’d love to wash down with the space beer.

It’s got to be better than Tang.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day

Begora!

I love that word, damn it.

Wait, I love to say damn it too, but on this special day I’ll stick with Begora to honor St. Patrick’s excellent work as a snake herder. Maybe he was just rounding up all the reptiles in order to slip the legless wonders into bottles of vodka?

To get you into the mood for the day, I’ve rounded up three classic commercials with an Irish theme – Shamrock Shakes from McDonald’s, Irish Spring deodorant soap and an old Lucky Charms commercial from way back when there were only four different marshmallow shapes in the box.

Here we go down nostalgia lane.

I’ll admit I’ve never sucked back one of those minty dairy concoctions, although it is a bit intriguing. Wait, what was I thinking. Pass on the offer. If I’m drinking anything in shades of grass today, it will be green beer. For more Shamrock Shake commercials, head here.

Now, pucker up and whistle along as we get all get squeaky clean.

Carving up a bar of soap must be a way for a frustrated lad to relieve some tension when the lasses aren’t responding to his wooing. That or it’s some threatening and weird fetish. Cleanliness is next to Irishness.

And finally, a 1970s version of those magically delicious breakfast treats.

I actually found the inaugural Lucky Charms commercial which was filmed in black and white but made a point of showing the different shapes and telling the viewer what color they were. The original four shapes and corresponding hues were yellow moons, orange stars, green clovers and pink hearts. I think they’re now actually packing up to about 64 different shapes of the dehydrated little marshmallow bits in a box. That’s one for every color, not in a rainbow, but in a box of Crayola crayons.

Don’t forget to wear something green and Happy St. Patrick’s Day to all.

Pong, Pong, Pong, Pong – Beer Pong

While writing a post about alternate uses for beer yesterday over at PopFi, I came across an homage to the creative spirit of our young Americans, the future leaders of the free world.

Feast your eyes upon these 33 amazing beer pong tables.

What else can you attribute these amazing creations to. Oh yeah, you can attribute them to the early stages of alcoholism. My favorites are the Pirates vs. Ninjas version and the artistic mosaic created from beer bottle caps. Beauties!

I’ll admit when I was in my hedonistic alcohol-hazed heyday, we just played quarters. Ah yes, ye golden olden days.