Wobbly the Dancing Squirrel

It’s Wobbly the Dancing Squirrel.

Actually, though, I believe it’s Wobbly the Squirrel with Parkinson’s Disease. Can squirrels get Parkinson’s?

This just doesn’t look normal to me.

Maybe he’s been eating fermented fruit like the drunk squirrel I posted another time.

Where’s the Bread and Milk?!?!?

So we’ve had a little ice come down in our neck of the woods.

Of course, this means rampaging shoppers have wiped out all the bread and milk in area stores.

I wonder what the lactose intolerant shop for on these days?

Thank goodness the crazy ladies were too busy buying staples to nab all the beer.

I’m good to go.

Squirrel Queen Flickr Meme

I saw this over at Jane Q. Public’s home and was just curious about doing it for myself.

It’s a Flickr meme. Instead of just typing out your answer on your blog, you head to Flickr and type it into their Flickr’s search box. Once the results pop up, you use only the images that appear on the first page, choose your favorite and copy and paste each of the URLs into the Mosaic Maker (3 columns, 4 rows)… Enjoy!

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you attend?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One word to describe you?
12. Your Flickr name?

Here are my answers:

1. Stephanie

2. Crab pasta (but I like mine with alfredo)

3. South Fulton

4. Green

5. Nicole Kidman

6. Beer

7. Machu Picchu

8. Cheese Cake (but I like most all desserts)

9. Mature (because I so often feel immature)

10. Comfort

11. Mellow

12. Squirrel Queen

Holly and Heartbreaktown have also done Flickr memes, but they’ve been a bit more mysterious about their answers.

Photo Credits: 1. Stephanie_35, 2. Crab Pasta, 3. Bo-Peep Motel, South Fulton, Kentucky, 4. Forest Green, 5. Nicole Kidman, 6. Stella Artois, Belgium, 7. Sunrise, 8. Cheese Cake Cupcakes, 9. a3256 A Mature Red, 10. Comfort in the Leaves, 11. Melt into Mellow Scottish view, 12. Close up squirrel

Assault With a Stinky Fart

So a man arrested for DUI had charges stacked on his crap rap sheet when he farted on the officers fingerprinting him in Kanawha County, West Virginia.

For his drunken gaseous effort, the officers added battery on a police officer and obstruction to his chargers.

I’m thinking there was definitely nothing obstructed here and that’s the whole problem.

The actual criminal complaint can be read here.

WSAZ in Charleston, WV has a funny video clip that I couldn’t get to load and some of the details.

Football!

I’ve gathered the family (both human and canine) around ye olden television to watch squirrel football today. It’s the first full Saturday of college football.

I’ve already spent the past month traipsing around my county covering the local teams in preseason and through the first two weeks of the actual high school season. I’ve seen some pretty poor efforts from the locals so far. I’m not expecting any November trips to Murfreesboro, that’s for sure.

I didn’t get to watch all of the Olympics that I would have liked to do, but saw enough to know I missed even more. That gives me two years to get ready for the next Winter Olympics. One thing I did learn from Beijing is that field hockey players need longer sticks. I have joined a water polo fantasy league though as a result of my viewing.

I know the NFL and Brett Favre have been in the news for about 15 years with their never-ending preseason drama, but until they start playing for real and the NFL starters play more than four downs, I don’t care what they do. Call me when they kick off Week 1 not Pre-Week 4 (seemingly nearly half the guys in uniform on the sidelines in Green Bay on Thursday night will be cut before next Sunday).

Give me the first Saturday of college football. Game after game after irrelevant game. It’s Week 1 after all, so there are lots of big names vs. tiny A&M ala the Georgia vs. Georgia Southern game or the Ohio State vs. Youngstown State contest.

No matter, it’s still it’s a good excuse to sit on the couch, drink beer, eat lots of crap, yell at the television and drink beer.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m still excited about baseball. Love the Rays’ story this season. Love the Yankees’ swoon this year. Rooting for the Brewers to make a big splash as the NL Wild Card. Rooting against the Cubs. Bemoaning the Cardinals’ bullpen woes. Ahh, baseball.

Today is all about football though. Chest thumping, mascot mugging, quarterback crushing, tipped pass catching with one hand football.

Hut one, hut two, hike!

Is It Illegal To Cut Grass? – Drunk Steven on a Lawnmower

Drunken man on a lawnmower, it sounds like a show on the Speed Network, but it’s in fact a hilarious video of scofflaw Steven cruising the neighborhood with beer in hand and a bladder full of urine.

Enjoy!

If you liked that one, check out this drunken soccer referee or the drunken Darth Vader.

Drunk Soccer Referee

The NBA has had issues recently with one of its referees entangled with gambling problems and making claims that some of the other zebras might be a little too cozy with a few coaches and players to make unbiased calls during games.

Now, soccer is having a problem with one of its men in yellow. During a Belarusian Premier League match between FC Vitebsk and FC Naftan Novopolotsk earlier this month, one of the refs had to be helped from the field after the game was over.

He claimed he was having back problems, but maybe it was just that he didn’t have enough Coca Cola back to go with his Jack Daniels or vodka or whatever he was funneling into his system.

He was taken to a hospital where it was determined he was inebriated.

If you watch him trying to “walk” off the field it looks more like a polka party in the drunk tank.

There are more details, here.

Evolution of the BBQ Apron

Father’s Day is coming up tomorrow and for those of you who haven’t purchased a gift yet, I’ve got an idea for you – the ultimate outer wear for the master of the grill.

In the 1950s, suburbia led to leisure time and backyard patios and manly barbecuing.

Barbecue accessories have evolved greatly over the past half century.

From this

to this

and this

to this

to this

and this

Ye olden “Kiss the Cook” apron has also evolved.

From this

to this

The apron has progressed into a cargo variation with lots of pockets.

The idea started with this

then advanced to this

But there are those manly men who in this modern age refuse to wear an apron when they throw their meat on the grill or at least near it.

For them I present the Weber Utility Shirt.

Note: The sauce bottle protector pocket is also an excellent spot to stow your beer bottle while you’re flipping your burgers.

Japanese Waistlines Must Shrink

I have gained way too much weight over the last five years or so.

It bugs me, but I haven’t committed wholeheartedly to change that just yet.

I really should drop at least some of that tonnage for so many reasons, but my lack of willpower troubles me. And I love food, most of the bad variety, and beer.

However, if I lived in Japan, that choice to lose those pesky pounds wouldn’t be up to me.

The Japanese government is mandating waistline restrictions on its populace.

Seriously. Government regulations on waistline sizes. Too many inches leads to trouble.

Maybe it was the obese monkeys that started this whole thing.

Gas Prices Rising = Beer Conspiracy

Oh, this just sums it all up for me.

Suddenly I’m thirsty.

Hops to the rescue.

Unless we elect John McCain, who plans on vetoing BEER!!!!

How on earth could anyone vote for a man who’s already on record as saying he will deny the American people Beer, the golden lager of the Gods.

We’ve already been through one Prohibition and rose up to smite those laws down.

I go back to the Founding Fathers who set this country on the path we have followed successfully for more than two centuries.

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to prosper.”

Read those words that were stated by the brilliant Ben Franklin and know that McCain is aligned with the devil if he thinks he will be able to keep the barley and hops from our breathalyzer breath.

God bless Ben Franklin and Hooray, Beer.