Giant Bleeding Heart Gummy Candy

Valentine’s Day is rapidly approaching.

I know all of you out there are wondering what to get your loved one … flowers, chocolates, a massage.

How about a bleeding candy heart?

Come on. Nothing says “love” like an ooey gooey sticky sweet treat that gushes blood with every bite. Nom nom nom.

Of course, this gift might not be the best for those “faint of heart”, but who wants to hang out with them.

via ThinkGeek

Super Bowl Sunday

It’s Super Bowl Sunday.

Hip hip hurray! It’s a holiday in the Squirrel Queen household.

A day for the best finger foods and snacks of all time. A day for football. A day for creative advertising. A day for comradery. A day for beer!

Unlike many seasons, I’m not rooting against a team, but I will be pulling for one this year.

Peyton and the Colts already have one Super Bowl ring and a Lombardi trophy. Let Drew Brees and the rest of New Orleans celebrate tonight. It would be great to be down on Bourbon Street this evening.

Like the song says, “this aint your daddy’s Saints.”

No matter which team wins today, I’ll be OK with it.

Six More Weeks of Winter

If weather prediction were left to up to the Squirrel Queen instead of that annoying prognosticator Punxsutawney Phil, there would be no way that six more weeks of winter would be an option.

Who listens to a groundhog anyway? Fraidy cat scared of its own shadow.

Not the Squirrel Queen. I’m mandating an early arrival for spring.

I’m booking it a flight on Priceline right now.

William Shatner would be so proud.

Zombie Haiku

For all my poetry-loving, zombie-killing pals, have I got something for you.

It’s “Zombie Haiku” by Ryan Mecum.

The Web site for the book includes a list of zombie haiku by celebrities including other horror writers, comedians and poet laureates.

Here’s an example of one of the celebrity submissions.

“Back to the buffet
for second helpings-
Care for a rump of infant?”
- Billy Collins, former U.S. Poet Laureate and author of the lovely Ballistics: Poems

There are also haiku written in the style of famous poets past.

“Zombie Haiku by Robert Frost
Two lobes in the skull.
I eat the bloodier one –
not much difference.”

It looks like a bloody, brainy fun read.

Lots of people give poetry books for Valentine’s Day. Don’t you think Newscoma would appreciate such a gift?

Hacked Stop Signs

What with all the snow on the roads around here, everyone is yakking about reckless fools sliding through stop signs due to their carelessness combined with the driving conditions.

So in honor of the octagonal red intersection commands, Urlesque has hacked stop signs and their unexpected messages.

Everything from MC Hammer to Harry Potter gets referenced. Some of the pics are photoshopped but others have been physically altered.

None of them, however, offer a zombie warning for you.

Empty Shelves = Snowpocalypse 2010

So the entire state is buzzing with dire predictions of snow – they’re talking INCHES not flurries.

Of course, this brings about a mad rush by consumers who apparently believe purchasing loaves and gallons are talismans that will keep the weather worries at bay or at least see them through the crisis so they don’t have to eat their youngest child like something off a Donner Party hors d’oeuvres tray.

I don’t mind the snow.

It’s the ice that worries me. My neck of the woods was fortunately just south of the ice crisis that made life so miserable for so many for so long last year in Western Kentucky.

Even my family living one county over from my current home was impacted without power for five days and they were on the extremely southern edge of the worst weather.

Here’s hoping if the snow falls over the next few days, it just offers excellent sledding and no power outages and may your shopping cart be filled with your favorite grocery items.

Squirrel Anarchy

Hear some Squirrel Power.

Squirrel punk rock at its finest.

Anarchy ensues.

Squirrel Appreciation Day

In case you didn’t know, today – January 21 – is Squirrel Appreciation Day.

All hail the Squirrel Queen.

In honor of the day, drop a few extra snacks in the park and slow down when you see one of my legion strolling in the street.

Or check out these squirrels of the World Wide Web.

Personally, I will seize the day.

Thanks to my pal Badger for the original drawing.

Elvis and Mama

Is it just me or does Mama have a little bit of an Elvis snarl and some hound dog sideburns? All topped off by Priscilla’s Aqua-Netted hair-spectacular.

Ahhh, the 70s.

And if I’m not mistaken the kid in this pic fell into the chocolate river and went on to be sucked up into the Fudge Room in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Poor Augustus Gloop.

I found this pic over at Gelmania, but if you want to see plenty more of the same ilk, don’t forget to stop by Awkward Family Photos. Oy!

Sharam and Patsy Cline

I’m probably late to the party on this one as it was released during the summer of 2009, but I was stopped in my tracks when I heard this song on the radio the other day. I certainly didn’t expect to hear the haunting strains of Patsy Cline singing “Strange” on the station I was listening to.

It turns out, Patsy was sampled by DJ Sharam for his song “She Came Along” featuring Kid Cudi.

Here’s the full Patsy Cline version.

Now about the Sharam video’s faux Sergio Leone look. If you liked that, check out this Muse video for “Knights of Cydonia.” It’s got cowboys, robots and some kung fu. Something for everyone.